Five Things I Learned About Myself After Former USA Cheslie Kryst’s Suicide
After hearing the devastating news Sunday (Jan 31) that the former Miss North Carolina and USA Cheslie Kryst had taken her own life, I had to stop and take a beat! I asked myself a million questions.
I reasoned she was living the life! Why? She was the former Miss USA, one of only a handful of women of color to ever have that title. WHAT could have been so dreadful? She was absolutely gorgeous! She was an attorney who lived in New York and even held a second job as a correspondent for one of the most-watched entertainment TV shows “Entertainment Tonight”!
What would make a successful, beautiful, smart woman with nothing but a great life ahead jump from an apartment building in Manhattan? The even sadder part is the answer to that question — which is ‘We’ll never know.’
And that’s the point! You can never tell what a person is dealing with on the INSIDE, no matter how fabulous they LOOK on the outside. No matter how well put together they appear; no matter how high their spirit seems on the INSIDE they could be dying.
I’ve learned a few things about myself after hearing the news of Cheslie’s suicide:
- Check-in on my friends, especially the strong ones. Sometimes the strongest ones can be the weakest ones. Strong friends can hide hurt well.
- Talk to a friend or someone I can trust. And I do that a lot. I don’t like keeping things bottled up. In fact, if I don’t ‘vent’ or aren’t able to express my dissatisfaction, disappointment, hurt, etc. I get physically ill. And I think my body literally rejects keeping that kind of toxicity inside me. I have to talk it out.
- If no one is available to talk, I literally talk out loud to myself. Seriously. I’m by myself when I do this. And I talk or vent about whatever is bothering me and getting it out of my head and body is such a relief.
- See a professional. I have a therapist and he makes his living listening. That’s an art form. He asks me pertinent questions that get me to open up. He also provides different perspectives and helps me see how some of my thinking developed.
- Find a hobby that encourages me to relax your mind. I walk at least two miles a day (no matter how cold it is). It gets my blood pumping and I’m forced to exert energy doing something else other than ‘stressing.’ Next, I’m on to yoga!
WHAT EXPERTS SAY ARE COMMON SIGNS OF DEPRESSION:
(provided by Betterhelp.com)
- No interest in things. Many times, someone doesn’t want to do anything that used to make them happy. This includes things like hobbies, their jobs, or even hanging out with certain people.
- Feelings of hopelessness. People with depression may have feelings of hopelessness, where they feel like nothing will ever be better or change.
- Feelings of emptiness. Depressed people may feel empty or like they have no emotions at all.
- Tired all the time. People experiencing depression may be tired all the time, even if they sleep many hours a day. On the flip side, some may stop sleeping altogether, or sleep very little.
- Unable to eat. People who are depressed might not want to eat anything anymore. They’ll skip meals more often than not. Others will start eating much more than they should. Either of these behaviors can cause major changes in weight.
- More feelings of anxiety. When a person is depressed, they will probably have more feelings of anxiety too. For example, they will feel anxious many times a day, and might even start to pick up nervous habits.
- Body pains. Depression symptoms are not just of the unseen variety. There are possible body pains, headaches, and other aches and pains that can be felt.
- Feeling guilt. Some feel unbelievable amounts of guilt while they are suffering from depression.
- Little control over emotions. Some people experiencing depression will also have little control over their emotions or how they’re feeling. This often translates into being very irritable, and even small and seemingly insignificant things may get on their nerves.
- Thinking about death. Severe symptoms are feelings of death or suicide. Sometimes people will try to hurt themselves when they have depression. If you are thinking about suicide, you should seek immediate help.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255, and is available 24 hours per day.
